This morning I received
a text message from Summit Health
Patient Portal from my City MD
visit a week ago because of my
nail parlor finger. The doctor
Hasidic woman named Simma
wearing a wild blonde wig
wanted to check whether there was
anything untoward in my
finger’s bacteria (there was not)
so she sent out a sample to the lab.
I loved her diagnosis
(Oy Va Voy) and the way she
bandaged my finger
gauze wrapped
in a beautiful way
(was it a secret Kabbalistic
design? maybe)
but this morning when I
received my patient portal text
(No Further Procedures Needed)
I wondered what Further Procedures
for the finger could be.
You don’t need colored nails
said Dr. Simma but this week
defying medicine and logic
I went back to Tina at QQ Nails
who looked at my hands
and had another reaction.
You’re missing red polish she said.
You are subject to competing philosophies of "finger maintenance."
Nail Parlor Finger sounds like the title of a good mystery.